Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Dads Departure


I did not provoke
the punch to my heart
nor did I expect
the emptiness; the cleft
.
Like a T-Shirt snagged
on a roses thorn
when finally released
a gaping hole was left
.
Though you were hurting
and I knew you would go
I never did think
I'd feel such a loss
.
I try to remember
all that you went through
you thought I was burdened
yet were never my cross
.
Early that morning
I was wakened from sleep
and knew that the call
could be nothing but bad
.
In the short time it took
to jump out of bed
and run to the phone
I was already sad
.
They all say you're better
no longer in pain
I wish I could see it
as beautiful travel
.
The last memories I have
are of you in that bed
staring at nothing
my fear you'd unravel
.
I'm sure I should heed
the words that I spout
to those that I counsel
it just seems so rough
.
I know you are painless
that's great but I know
your last endless days
like sinew were tough
.
I guess it will take time
for the horror to subside
when memories turn nice
I knew that it would
.
I must remind myself
minute by minute
that although the pain has shifted
for you, "it's all good"
.
.
Thank you for all the love you've freely given to me, for all the times you've held me when I was in pain, for just being my father...I will miss you dad.

18 comments:

paisley said...

and it is all good... to be released from quantity as opposed to quality of life... i know the emptiness, the jagged edges of grief,, but i also know,, it was my loss i mourned... never his gain......

Christine said...

Your grief is palpable. So sad! Yet you are generous in spirit, knowing he is at rest.

Corina said...

Beautifully done. The grief and emptiness are there. I can feel them.

May the emptiness be filled with memories of the good times very soon.

tumblewords said...

The grief written here is palpable. Tender, touching with unmistakeable yearning and hope. Well done...

Linda Jacobs said...

your last endless days
like sinew were tough

I love this simile!

Sad, sad, sad.

Christy said...

I am sorry for your loss, the pain and sadness in this is felt dearly as is the love you held for your father.

your words have touched me deeply
i still have not gotten over my dad's sudden departure. i'm not sure i ever will.

thanks for sharing such a heartfelt writing

myrtle beached whale said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
myrtle beached whale said...

Holy crap!! Well I always come here for a dose of reality. I got it again. Always powerful stuff here at "death are us". Glad this is the lighter side.

Heather Kathleen said...

thank you for sharing your raw and honest truth so beautifully.

Gay said...

I lost my 87 year-old father just over a month ago, and I'm still grieving. Your words spoke to me. Thank you for them.

--Gay

Laane said...

I'm touched.

My dad died almost 20 years ago. You've given words to my feelings I had.

Truefaith1963 said...

Full of feeling - Lovely.

TC said...

*hugs*

I'm so sorry.

I wish I could see it
as beautiful travel


I really like those lines. It's so hard to see that ... and maybe it's OK to not be able to.

LittleWing said...

heavenly poetry for such a grieving pain...

pia said...

It's a wonderful expression of grief

We had five days when my dad died--just enough time to let him go a bit--and no time when my mom went--still feel it often and it's been six years

Michelle Johnson said...

I haven't lost a parent but, I do understand the grief that comes with losing someone close. I am so sorry for your loss, deathsweep. Time does fill that emptiness inside of us and the memories that rush forth won't hurt nearly as bad. But, it does take awhile. I hope you find solace in your memories soon.

gautami tripathy said...

I couldn't comment when I read it the first time. I couldn't see beyond my tears. I lost my dad and know how it feels. I miss him.

Bone said...

This was beautiful and sad at the same time. The "punch to the heart" reminded me how I felt when I was told my grandma had died.