Monday, August 23, 2010

close encounters

Did you ever do something out of sheer impulse and then merely minutes later wonder why you did it or how you could reverse it? I've done it on more than one occasion and thanks to good fortune (as well as a good knowledge of escape routes) I have been able to recover each time although it would have been much better if these instances had never happened. People including myself like to generalize similar actions as spontaneity when in fact the word "spontaneous" usually refers to something good and the actions I mention are the farthest from good that's imaginable; therefore being the farthest from spontaneous as imaginable as next time I decide that I need to do, say or write something which seems questionable...and I do it with no regard to the feelings that it will cause someone else, that needs to be chalked up to being unfeeling, uncaring and down right stupid...not spontaneous. This post was neither spontaneous nor was it stupid, it was more on the lines of retrospection.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Nectar of the gods

No, I'm not as dead as I thought I was
In fact, I'm not dead at all
I was merely sleeping,

No, I'm not finished with my life too
In fact, I'm not even close
I was taking a breather,

No, I'm not fully recovered just yet
In fact, at times I don't want
what I know I need,

But whether I like it, want it, invite it or accept it, the current stage of my life can be likened to that of of a caterpillar going through metamorphosis. I've changed, both physically and mentally and it now feels as though it's time to break out of the cocoon that I so carefully wrapped around myself; the cocoon that may have appeared flimsy to some yet to me had the strength of the strongest leather.

As it starts to rip open, as it allows my newly grown wings to expand and warm in the sunshine that most call life, I'm beginning on my newest journey, perhaps my last, but certainly a new beginning with a guarantee that there's a great season ahead.

At 51, I definitely don't expect to double my age and live to 102 however I could have many years ahead that will be filled with new experiences and memories and these past 17 months will simply be one of them that I will no longer allow to govern my life. If you read this, and I mean you, yes you, I want to thank you for helping me rip open that leathery entrapment and making me aware that outside of the dark abode I've been living in is light, life. Thank you for helping me see the reason for this season!