Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Clotted roads

An inundated mind becomes muddled
causing confusion as to where to turn next,
which step is right, which walked path will begin
the series of the correct progressions
My filtering abilities seem to be clogged
for the most part and simple tasks now
cause me to be overly cautious which in turn
leaves me too often feeling mentally paralyzed
Maybe I need a new vision, a new purpose
to enable me to let my newly chaotic existence
fall to the wayside and once again start
seeing and sensing an orderly life; like before
"It's only human" they quip, "part of the process"
I've read, but this cannot continue, this isn't me,
at least not the me that I have come to know,
the me that I have become comfortable being
I wish it was as simple as flipping some valves
into the backwash position and clearing the muck
from blocking the way, adding some clarifier tonight
so the morning would bring clearness to to it all


paisley said...

it is a grief thing,, and for those of us that were lucky enough to make it this far without ever having experienced it,, it is like being hit in the stomach with a baseball bat..

it took me a year,, but i feel as if i am finally getting back on track with who i am.. you cant rush it,, it is much stronger than you are... or i was for that matter.......

pia said...

If only a mind could be filtered with a switch to get it back on track--would be heaven

Greyscale Territory said...

"Me" has many profiles. Let this one run its course and then search for a new "me".


TC said...

Sorry you're suffering. It's easy for us to say to you that it's part of the process and that you'll get over it... but it's never that easy when you're the one experiencing it. I hope you get back to being the you that you want to be soon.

Bone said...

If only it were that simple.

I've had those moments where I've realized, usually suddenly, that I'm not myself. And I wonder how I got so far off from where I was, or where I want to be.