Mistaken identity

A fellow was playing with fire
by giving in to his desire
He stripped off his drawers
while in the outdoors
and streaked in pale wrinkled attire.

Meow in F Sharp

A fellow was in a bad mood,
his cello was sad and unglued,
when played it would moan
and groan and would drone,
like a cat with a bad attitude.

Time's up!

A man thought it time to take stock
of the date as he set his clock
his taxes filed late
he knew not his fate
He'd better call H&R Block

Can't trust internet dating sites!

A gal had to cancel her plan
to study in depth the Koran
Osama now dead
was shot in the head
He'd said he now lived in Bhutan

poor guy

A fellow was terribly late,
at his age he still longed for a date,
frequently he did try,
though more often he'd cry,
"Man's not a chap til getting a mate!"

A woman who grew up quite poor
did never believe in grandeur
she tried not to compare
til she spied her first pair
And became a grand voyeur du jour

Misconstrooops!

A gal who was youngish yet gray,
washed up near the rocks one dark day,
nightly while she was fast asleep
her brain told her that she should leap
BUT not from the bridge that spanned the bay!

A yard by any other name

This week at MadKanes the promt is either yards or gardens. I decided to do one on each however both mentioning yards, yet still different types of yards.

.

.....Limerick

..
Whoever invented the game
would likely think I were lame
since three hundred yards to me
is farther than I can see
and of course running it's sadly the same
.

.....Haiku

.
Trimming lawns and yards
has never been an option,

I have no mower

Countdown

A mere second more

is all that I really want

just to say "so long"

.

.

.
.
I never really knew
left was oh so few
blessed hours
time empowers
emotions now askew

Searching

This prompt is compliments of Mad Kanes Humor Blog and asks for a Limerick and Haiku about a bad job or jobs you have had - here's what I came up with:

Haiku

Door to door salesmen

often have black and blue toes

and hate the word "NO"

Limerick

When first I met a conveyor belt
it gnawed my hands, left many a welt
I just wanted to quit
tell them all to "eat shit"
til I'd recall the rent where I dwelt

Decisions, decisions, decisions....

Here's another site, gratis of Paisley and her "ink pot", and I really had a lot of fun with this one - Mad Kanes Humor Blog - Limerick and Haiku prompt

She wakes up, ponders, rolls over
yo yo's between honey and clover
decides if she prefers sweet

or a trek to the street
Does she really need rise and walk Rover

.....now "haiku"

She wanted a pet
but was unsure of its care
oh what decisions