Neo-Natal Life...again

Birth. I wonder how many times we as the inhabitants of this planet, the masters of our own universe, the beings that we see each morning in our bathroom mirrors are allowed to be a part of the awe inspiring feeling that Birth affords? If we're at all lucky, we'll get to be involved in a birth several times over the course of our lives. Of course "we" ourselves are born but what most times follows are children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and more; so if we're fortunate enough, we get to see this wonder occur over and over. All be it the birth of any one or thing is truly a wonderful, exhilarating occurrence, the re-birth of anything is an even more splendid, almost incomprehensible event.

By no means am I downgrading the creation of life itself or birth. By no means am I trying to express that the first movement of a child in their mothers womb is anything short of beautiful and miraculous; no, that's not my intent at all. However when a part of ones life is over, whatever loss it may be, even if well intentioned people tell you "life will somehow be better someday", "give it time", the dread and fear that this can instill is almost enough to bring you to your knees; until your mind allows you to begin waiting and hoping for a possible new beginning, a re-birth. So when that life inside of us seems to stir a bit, when we can once again feel movement within ourselves that is giving us the OK to proceed with our lives, now that is an utterly miraculous feeling!

You see, the nine months that it takes for a child to emerge from its mothers womb is ordinarily a joyous time. Yes I know, or have been told, that some times during a pregnancy could be very stressful and sometimes debilitating but in a measured amount of time a life will be brought into this world; there are at the very least expectations of joy. Whereas grief is not brought about by creation, no joyous expectations, no set time frames when it will be over, it hurts and could last for years. Many times during those years there is a feeling of absolutely no hope for a future of any kind. So as I said earlier, when the stirring begins inside of us, that's a true sign that we're on the road to re-birth!

I have a lot ahead of me right now, I don't know where or when but I will be "fully" re-born someday and I'm eagerly awaiting that time. So, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and the like, give that new child all the love you have so that one day if a re-birth is in order, they can look back at their former lives and be proud of who they were, who helped them get there, and forge on anew...again!

Dads Departure

I did not provoke
the punch to my heart
nor did I expect
the emptiness; the cleft
.

Like a T-Shirt snagged
on a roses thorn
when finally released
a gaping hole was left
.

Though you were hurting
and I knew you would go
I never did think
I'd feel such a loss
.

I try to remember
all that you went through
you thought I was burdened
yet were never my cross
.

Early that morning
I was wakened from sleep
and knew that the call
could be nothing but bad
.

In the short time it took
to jump out of bed
and run to the phone
I was already sad

.

They all say you're better
no longer in pain
I wish I could see it
as beautiful travel
.

The last memories I have
are of you in that bed
staring at nothing
my fear you'd unravel
.

I'm sure I should heed
the words that I spout
to those that I counsel
it just seems so rough
.

I know you are painless
that's great but I know
your last endless days
like sinew were tough
.

I guess it will take time
for the horror to subside
when memories turn nice
I knew that it would
.

I must remind myself
minute by minute
that although the pain has shifted
for you, "it's all good"

.

.

Thank you for all the love you've freely given to me, for all the times you've held me when I was in pain, for just being my father...I will miss you dad.

Born a travelling man

Going away

Do you have your -

Valise? Don't need one no more
Tickets? Never even thought of 'em
Money? Can't buy nothin' where I'm headed
Passport? Nope, customs are over

Do you have my -

Love? It will never end
Respect? Only the greatest my friend
Honor? For you there's nothing else
Trust? There is a never ending supply

Do we have -

One another? Until your dieing day
Friendship? Yes, tight, tight, bonds
Forever? No, forever cannot stay
Memories? They'll never go away