Neo-Natal Life...again

Birth. I wonder how many times we as the inhabitants of this planet, the masters of our own universe, the beings that we see each morning in our bathroom mirrors are allowed to be a part of the awe inspiring feeling that Birth affords? If we're at all lucky, we'll get to be involved in a birth several times over the course of our lives. Of course "we" ourselves are born but what most times follows are children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and more; so if we're fortunate enough, we get to see this wonder occur over and over. All be it the birth of any one or thing is truly a wonderful, exhilarating occurrence, the re-birth of anything is an even more splendid, almost incomprehensible event.

By no means am I downgrading the creation of life itself or birth. By no means am I trying to express that the first movement of a child in their mothers womb is anything short of beautiful and miraculous; no, that's not my intent at all. However when a part of ones life is over, whatever loss it may be, even if well intentioned people tell you "life will somehow be better someday", "give it time", the dread and fear that this can instill is almost enough to bring you to your knees; until your mind allows you to begin waiting and hoping for a possible new beginning, a re-birth. So when that life inside of us seems to stir a bit, when we can once again feel movement within ourselves that is giving us the OK to proceed with our lives, now that is an utterly miraculous feeling!

You see, the nine months that it takes for a child to emerge from its mothers womb is ordinarily a joyous time. Yes I know, or have been told, that some times during a pregnancy could be very stressful and sometimes debilitating but in a measured amount of time a life will be brought into this world; there are at the very least expectations of joy. Whereas grief is not brought about by creation, no joyous expectations, no set time frames when it will be over, it hurts and could last for years. Many times during those years there is a feeling of absolutely no hope for a future of any kind. So as I said earlier, when the stirring begins inside of us, that's a true sign that we're on the road to re-birth!

I have a lot ahead of me right now, I don't know where or when but I will be "fully" re-born someday and I'm eagerly awaiting that time. So, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and the like, give that new child all the love you have so that one day if a re-birth is in order, they can look back at their former lives and be proud of who they were, who helped them get there, and forge on anew...again!

Pleasure in a box

When I was a child I can remember my brother and I always waiting with the greatest anticipation to open Uncle Bob's christmas presents every year. I guess my sister did as well but it seemed as if we would get the most extraordinary toys you could imagine; toys that no other child we knew had, toys that appeared as if they were manufactured just for us.

Of course we got other toys, boatloads actually, along with all of the other gifts, you know, clothes, essentials, things that we held up to show everyone and smiled at. See, we were the only three children in a family of 9 adults so I guess we were somewhat spoiled. But let me get back to Uncle Bob's toys. They were amazing! I remember one year he gave us a Ferris Wheel that had to be four feet tall and actually worked! Lights flashed, music played, it rotated with people in the cars, it made you feel as if you were at a carnival! It wasn't so much that it was a very stimulating toy but it was something we had never seen, never imagined as a toy. When I look back at it now, if it were given to me today, it would probably be very boring, but not then, then it was really special and it made us feel that way too!

Through the years he gave us many different things similar to the Ferris Wheel meaning that they were all unique. They either flew or we could drive them or play them as in instruments; they were all great. It always seemed odd though that Uncle Bob's toys seemed to disappear a short time after christmas was over. When I say disappear I mean that they were "put away"; whether for safekeeping or because they were bothersome I'm not sure. It's funny though, when we got older and helped in cleaning out the house they were nowhere to be found. Maybe he returned them??? I doubt it but it would have been nice to come across them as adults.

Since that time all of those nine people are gone, the toys are gone, chances are even the stores where they were bought are gone but the memories that they imparted on us will be with us forever. It's funny how one small word, "toys", can open a floodgate of memories no matter where the toys now reside!