Games or Life?

I find myself and my current life very interesting and somewhat humorous. I have always been known to be or at least have been thought of as being selfish to some degree and although I never would admit it, would actually defend that I wasn't, I now see just how much truth was involved; a lot. I guess I can use the excuse that over the last year and a half I've had to be selfish to survive, so that my puny little brain could heal itself but that wouldn't be the whole truth. Yes, sure, I had to watch over me and my dealings basically alone and in that respect I had no choice but to be selfish however I now realize how easy it was to be that way simply because I had a lot of experience. I'm not proud or even thankful that it came so easily, as a matter of fact I wish it hadn't, because knowing it was fairly easy means learning WHY it was so easy; get it?

There's no turning back the hands of time to try to erase the not so good that's happened in the past, I just need to try to correct today so that there isn't an encore tomorrow even though at times I wish I could simply call a "do over". Childhood games need to be revamped so that we're taught full accountability from the very beginning without the luxury or ability to make our own rules, or bend the existing ones to suit our purposes. Another excuse?

death to life

I know that it's nature, yet can't help but swear
The flowers keep blooming
The birds keep on singing
I know that it's nature that just seems so unfair

Like you never existed, or mattered at all
The world keeps on turning
The stars still do twinkle
Like you never existed, can you fathom the gall

Would it change anything, if everything ceased
If the rain never fell
Or the tide just stood still
Would it change anything, no, not in the least

But what does need to change, is the way that I feel
Begin to be grateful
Start thinking of me
Yes what needs to be changed, is finding some zeal

What I need to accept, is my life has been altered
Not over at all
Still can be on track
What I'm beginning to see, is my life's not absurd

Although I can't help but dwell on what's be taken away
Feeling alone, left behind
I know I have to keep living
Life would have been easier, if you could have stayed

We're born, we laugh, we cry, we die -
god damned nature - we can't live or die without it.