Ocean of Tears

As I sit on the edge of this king
and peruse the room; too familiar
emotional waves lap at my soul
like flames licking my tender skin

I think I can endure these days
as long as I keep the curtains drawn
preventing the view of the sea
from flooding my already drenched mind

Not sure if I belong here tonight
but then where DO I now fit in
is a thought that keeps nagging at me
causing false expectations of the future

My brain suddenly feeling swollen
with 30 odd years of processed thoughts
all colliding with one another at once
my head throbbing is all that I feel

I need to go and eat..........................

Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On - Titanic Theme - High Quality

Old I know but this knocked me on my ass today.

Heal me!

Ahhhh healing, what a sweet ring that has to it. They say the body begins to heal when it becomes strong enough to overcome the power of the injury and regeneration or growth begins once again. In most cases, this process can be accomplished with the help of some outside influence whether it be from a doctor or just the application of some over the counter salve or remedy. At times the body heals by itself, like that annoying canker sore that mysteriously disappears when you least expect it or when you wake up and suddenly realize that the muscle ache you've had for a week is simply no longer there.

You can research and find many venues that give you approximate time frames in which various ailments are projected to heal; it's good to be able to track your progress based on these time lines. Knowing that a scab has formed tells you that you are well on the way to recovery and that in and of itself makes you somehow feel better. In this instance we are usually cautious to be sure that we don't inadvertently re-injure the site and sort of allow it to heal thereby making us one, once again.

Then of course there is the wound that we can try to assist in its healing, try to keep from starting anew but nonetheless no matter how hard we try to medicate and protect it we have no control over it. I'm finding that the hardest thing to heal is the mind. We supposedly have more control over our own minds than anyone or thing combined and yet there are certain times when no matter how desperate we are to heal our minds they seem to run amok tossing salt into gaping wounds causing continued pain and anguish. Wouldn't it be nice if there was something on the lines of Neosporin or some type of antiseptic that we could either ingest or apply that would assist in healing our heads?

What's even odder than not being able to heal our minds is the reaction our bodies have when our mind is in pain. Physical pain can also accompany pain in the brain and it seems when the physical pain is in fact caused by our minds pain there too is no way to heal that either. I guess there must be soothing techniques which can be used to ease the minds pain but until now, at least for me, they don't seem to be too reliable. So, as I first said, ahhh healing, it has such a sweet ring to it and right now I could use lots of sweet rings.

Reality can Sometimes Sting

At one time he envisioned simple things
which were born of his own imaginings
All that transpired around him was always
construed as either benign misfortune or good
.

Until that day when he became a secluded target
and experienced a threshing like no other known
Lying in a puddle of his own self he wandered within
and others benign misfortune became his tragedy

.

When finally recovered the skin around his left eye
resembled a patchwork plication prepared by the blind
He never knew the replaced orb was created from cullet
but he was aware that it could only mimic what it once was

.

The same as he himself could only mimic days before
when all was good and evil was in their minds not souls
For now he saw differently and this was not good
not just singularly but now he knew deep down

.

That no matter how he tried to evade the torturous truth
he had become a mere minion to his own dire fear
He felt he now walked this earth distinctly wearing
a bulls eye; ready for the next to pounce upon their prey

.

A heart of cold

Chthonic verdigris like a mottled splodge
adorneth that gangrenous organ once which
upon so called healing seems a keloid map
covered with rime, unable to melt again.

"Life" is not a given

If the warmth of yesterdays sun was the last you'd ever feel
and the laughter of that small child was the last you'd hear
would you not have savored them more than you did?
.

If those Tulips from last spring were the last you'd ever see
and the last kiss you had was indeed your last kiss
would it not have been wise to ditch the blase indifference?
.

Each day, each taste, each emotion could be our last
and we sometimes act as if life will never run out;
as if the parade will never end until we are ready.
.

Life rarely runs like the classic movie we've seen over and over
where the beginning, middle and end are known but
more like a first run mystery that keeps us on the edge of our seats.
.

With twists and turns that sometimes haunt us yet
we can not allow these snags to dictate how we live today
because today may be all that's left; the finale unbeknownst to us
.

So we must laugh harder, smile wider and dance longer
and learn that there can be beauty and love in every body and thing
despite the fact that they too will die alongside of us sometime.

Imagine

If all it would take was to imagine each day
the time that I wanted as mine
I know where and when, I know I would stay
so jocular and oh so sublime

The emotions I felt when first in love I fell
could never be matched I am sure
As hard as I try that minute to excel
at best I can hope it to endure

So, it's easy for me to know where to be
where I want to live out my days
No, not me, I need no potpourri
I simply want to keep my heart ablaze.